Welcome to new members as well. We are entering the holiday season with Thanksgiving tomorrow. Thanksgiving in this country presumably began as a time of celebration for the abundance of the harvests by early settlers – some of the details remain controversial. However, it was a time of gratitude for those celebrating. Gratitude is one of the fundamental elements of a healthy emotional system. Gratitude can cut a wide swath into one's negative thinking patterns. It is one of the major pillows for a positive life style.
A few comments on negative thinking. Most of us tend to think more in negative terms than positive ones. Why is that? As usual, many voices with varying opinions. A popular one is people tend to think "worst case scenarios" and do not consider all the options. Worst case scenarios are like emotional insurance to prepare for the worst. Another one is that we are constantly exposed to negativity via all media coverage, being as negative coverage greatly exceeds positive coverage.
A few tips on how to deal with negative thoughts and actions. Important to remember that all thoughts are your thoughts, no one can create your thoughts. That means you can choose all the thoughts you had or will have. Maybe not quite that simple, for many thoughts, particularly strongly embedded and powerful negative ones, have been used so many times that they become almost automatic and often subconscious.
Many people try to avoid those powerful negative ones by pushing them aside or resisting them, which generally is ineffective. The "secret " is to be aware of them. If a negative thought is associated with that unpleasant, unwanted feeling (the fight or flight response) then it represents a strong negative emotion and you need to be aware of it. Once aware, you can ask the thought what it is telling you. You do this by greeting the thought and accepting it, not pushing it away or resisting it. Generally when you take the time to understand it, you often will learn to manage or control it. Being aware of strong negative thoughts also has another advantage – generally the same thoughts recur over and over and these often signal a deeper or more general origin and pattern.
Thoughts for today:
"I will not hold the past against myself." In spite of what you may have seen or heard, your past does not determine your future, you can learn from the past, but what you do every day that is positive will allow the best possible future.
If someone hurts you, don't take it personally. It is generally a reflection of their pain or problems, not yours.
You can take control of your thoughts before they take control of you. You can't solve your problems with the same thinking you used to create them.
Always look at what you have, instead of what you think you have lost.
You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. – Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live YOUR best life.
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Live in the moment, IBP